When Infertility is Hurting Your Relationship

Young couples often dream of growing their own unique family.  When walking down the aisle there is an expectation that this will all be a natural part of their future.  The decision to start a family is an exciting one, but for many couples pregnancy does not come easily.

You get concerned after trying for about six months and your doctor may run a few tests or tell you to wait until a full year has passed.  When after a year pregnancy does not occur there may be more invasive procedures, time missed from work, medications, disappointment…it is a tremendous amount to handle.  Not to mention other friends are getting pregnant and you feel as if your dream is shattered.

Infertility causes stress on your relationship.

You may be in a slump or feeling agitated and snap at your partner.  You may be afraid to share your feelings for fear of upsetting your partner and he/she too may feel extremely scared and disappointed.  Your relationship is becoming strained and sex seems like a medically prescribed process.  There are fights and signficiant misunderstandings on both sides of the relationship.

I can help you both process these feelings and provide you with coping strategies to help deal with the stress so you can move through this time in your life with greater ease.  Individuals and couples need an impartial person to talk with because they know their feelings are safe when they sit with someone who can accompany them through this difficult time.  There are a few main areas that couples often struggle with when dealing with infertility.

  1. Both partners may feel inadequate or defective since a pregnancy has yet to happen. Whether you know what the problem is or have yet to uncover it, feelings of “what is wrong with me” creep into self-talk.  Women start to wonder why their bodies are not cooperating with motherhood and men feel like failures.
  2. When one partner gets in a slump or gets upset due to stress they tend to take it out on the other.  Fights are started for no reason and unreasonable expectations are put upon each other.  You may find yourself wanting to try and make every other part of your life perfect or you may need someone to be on the receiving end of your anger and sadness.

All of your feelings and actions are completely normal when struggling with infertility.  We work together to ensure that you build the skills and understanding to uncover the stress and not take it out on each other.  Put support in place so it can bring you closer together as a couple.  You are the only two people on earth going through this particular situation with your set of circumstances.  While you may feel as if you are being tested this is an opportunity and important time to build an even stronger bond.

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