A toxic boss can wreak havoc on your mental health. In order to protect yourself and your career, you may need to make some important changes in order to free yourself from the emotional stress caused by this unhealthy environment. Together we can uncover how you can step out of the line of fire.
What is a toxic boss?
Sometimes a toxic situation can be created by a boss’ poor management training or a lack of interpersonal or communication skills. Your manager may also be going through a lot of stress, personal or professional, which may be fueling some of their behavior. In these situations, the toxic environment may be unintentional and your boss may be open to discussion.
Some of your stress or discomfort may be due to personality quirks in your boss that are themselves neutral, but that you dislike. In this case, counseling may help you understand the underlying cause of those feelings to lessen their impact on you.
But some traits of a bad boss are truly toxic and are signs of a person who is not likely to listen to reason.
Some characteristics of a toxic boss include:
- Micro-managing and over-monitoring
- Pushing and rushing employees continuously, creating an environment of constant frenzy
- Not respecting the employees’ personal time, workload, hours
- Unreasonable deadlines without providing necessary information and allowing sufficient time
- Playing employees against each other; gossiping; talking about subordinates to other employees; talking down to employees
- Humiliating, in public or private; asking inappropriate questions or displaying inappropriate behavior
- Bullying, lying, shouting, gossiping, emotionally manipulating
- Threatening your employment, salary, or promotion
- Over-criticizing the smallest mistakes; bringing things back up as excuses to continue to criticize
- Being insensitive to the personal needs of the employees
- Playing favorites; giving undeserved bad feedback to superiors
- Making promises but reneging later
- Bragging and promoting oneself, aggrandizing personal accomplishments to the belittlement of others
Finding solutions
Finding a solution to your situation may involve some self-reflection. We can look at your situation and discuss some options by asking yourself key questions.
Should I leave or stay? Even if you can’t immediately change jobs, it’s important to have a clear career plan, understand your personal and professional strengths and accomplishments, and have a solid resume always prepared. It’s sometimes difficult for people to reflect on their own strengths, so we can work together on that.
What can I do differently at work? We can discuss how you usually respond to your boss’ toxic behavior and find healthier reactions: keeping out of the line of fire; focusing on the work rather than the person; keeping detailed records of unacceptable behavior. We will discuss what not to do: responding in kind, complaining about the boss, and making comments that might hurt your career.
What personal changes can I make? Sometimes a change of mindset can make all the difference. By keeping in mind that your boss is a human being and probably has problems of their own, your anger may be reduced to a manageable level where you can develop some coping thoughts that help create a more positive environment between your ears. We can work on those strategies together. We will also discuss some soothing practices such as meditation, exercise, and developing and maintaining healthy relationships and activities outside of work so that you are not thinking about the problems in your professional life when you are not working.
Contact me if you need help navigating a toxic work environment. Together we will look at your options and help you develop tools to make sure you stay out of the drama and keep your mental health and your career intact.