You’ve just had a baby, and everyone is so excited for you, but you feel like this wonderful time is nothing but stress. You’re expected to host guests and well-wishers who want to see the baby and congratulate you, but you’re exhausted, worried, tense, and moody. You wonder, “What’s wrong with me?”
Nothing is really wrong with you. Your reactions are common and understandable. Postpartum anxiety (PPA) can occur any time within the first year after having a baby, but usually begins within days or weeks of the delivery, and can occur no matter how many children you have had.
As an experienced psychotherapist in New York City who has also worked as a postpartum doula, I have helped many new mothers recover their sense of calm and balance after childbirth.
Baby blues, postpartum anxiety, and depression
A new mother’s emotions can be a bit volatile shortly after having a baby. This is mostly caused by hormonal changes, disruption in normal sleep cycles, family life, and concern for the baby. It can begin a few days after delivery and last a couple of weeks. These feelings generally resolve on their own, as you settle into parenthood and your hormones calm down.
However, if these symptoms seem extreme or if they persist, you may be experiencing anxiety, which strikes about 17% of mothers postpartum. Factors that increase the risk of PPA include:
- Previous history of anxiety, PTSD, or abuse
- Limited social or familial support
- Preterm birth or difficult delivery
- Poor health habits, both physical and mental
- Low sense of self-esteem or capability
- Difficulty nursing or concern because the baby needs to take formula
Symptoms of PPA are not unlike general anxiety but tend to be focused on the baby or parenthood. These may include:
- Physical symptoms such as rapid heart rate, loss of appetite, shortness of breath, trouble sitting still, or muscle tension
- Disruption of sleep beyond the need to feed or care for the baby at night; getting up to constantly check that the baby is breathing; jumping at every sound
- Racing thoughts (especially worse-case scenarios); forgetfulness; irritability or tearfulness; unable to relax; feeling fearful; obsessive thoughts
- Excessive caution; being controlling or not trusting anyone else with the baby; avoiding certain people or places beyond healthy precautions
Sometimes these feelings can bloom into postpartum depression (PPD), so it’s important to address your symptoms as soon as possible to avoid this possibility. PPD differs from PPA in degree and also in thoughts of hopelessness or worthlessness; overwhelming fatigue; excessive mood swings, anger, or weepiness; inability to think clearly; and even thoughts of harming yourself or your child.
Getting help quickly
Turn to your partner and talk out your feelings to get support during this time of transition. You need help so that you can get the sleep you need, and you need someone to make healthy meals for you so that you maintain your own health. If you have family or friends whom you trust, turn to them for emotional support and share the caregiving.
As a psychotherapist who started as a postpartum doula, I understand what you’re going through. We can work on grounding skills so that you can develop the confidence and peace that you need to trust that your baby will be fine and that you can be the mother that you want to be.
Interestingly, 11% of partners can also experience PPA, so you may want to get counseling together. Your partner can learn techniques to help and support you while getting the help he/she may need for themselves. Find an experienced postpartum counselor near you so that you can address your feelings as soon as possible. If you’re in the New York City area, call to see how I can help.