Politics can be an emotionally charged subject for many people, and election season can be especially stressful. If you find that the people around you talk about politics in a manner that makes you uncomfortable, you have every right to take action to protect your own mental health and communicate boundaries around discussions.
As a psychotherapist in New York City, I have helped many clients develop boundary strategies. Such strategies have helped alleviate a lot of stress and anxiety. The strategies around political boundaries are very similar to boundaries around any other subject that may cause you discomfort. You may be open to some discussion, but certain behaviors or manners of discussion may make you uncomfortable or trigger you. Start by communicating your feelings to your co-workers, friends, and family.
The closer you are to a person, the more their comments can upset you, because it is easier to take things personally. But since family and friends know you better and care about you, you can be more honest and express why you have to set these boundaries.
To co-workers, simply request that they leave you out of their political discussions. Ask them not to discuss politics near your work area. Or, you can ask that the conversation remain neutral, without inflammatory rhetoric, only facts. These are certainly reasonable requests. If the conversation goes in a more volatile direction, simply excuse yourself. You do not owe them any explanation.
The strategy can be similar with your friends and loved ones. However, you can be more personal with them because they certainly care about your emotional well-being. You should also consider allowing them to share in the building of boundaries.
For instance, while it might be unreasonable to ask your family not to discuss politics during a family get-together, especially when there are upcoming elections, you can ask that people not discuss politics at the dinner table.
As with your co-workers, you can ask your family to save inflammatory rhetoric for when everyone present feels the same way with the same degree of passion. If your family has a hard time with that (and certainly, some people are very emotional while still remaining very good people) you can simply let them know that you will excuse yourself when they get started. Clarify that it’s nothing personal, you’re just not comfortable with the conversation. They can have their discussion happily without you.
The important thing with boundaries, whatever the subject matter, is for you to develop the skills to say “I’m not comfortable talking about this subject right now” and stick to it. Change the subject, or politely excuse yourself. You have a responsibility to protect your mental health.
In the process, try to remember that the people who are discussing things that upset you are not bad or rude – they’re just different from you. They’re ok with it, you’re not, and you should both respect each other’s comfort levels.
Sometimes people who feel passionately about something forget to be courteous toward others who either feel differently or who feel uncomfortable with strongly expressed opinions, even if they may agree with them. Try to protect your mental health without thinking ill of other people. They probably don’t mean it. Maintaining kind thoughts toward others (or at least neutral thoughts) will help you maintain a positive attitude, which is critical for mental health.
If you are in the NYC area and you need help creating boundaries, or if you feel you would benefit from talking to an expert to develop healthy strategies to combat anxiety, depression, or any other emotional issue, please contact me. I am here to help.