As a high achiever, you drive yourself to succeed, and you usually do succeed. But you may also experience anxiety associated with that success. You want peace of mind, but you don’t want to give up everything to find it. The good news is, you don’t have to.
Unhealthy behaviors
In my experience, it is very common for high achievers to ruminate on worst-case scenarios, evaluating every little thing that could possibly go wrong. They minimize praise and fixate on constructive criticism. They compare themselves unfavorably with others, always expecting better of themselves, and not sufficiently acknowledging their accomplishments.
You might have thought you would be happy when you reached a certain milestone, moving up the ladder of success. But you now feel isolated from co-workers and friends who may not have reached that level or who now feel awkward with (or even jealous of) your new authority. You may also find you need support in a new position, but are afraid to ask for help and appear weak or underqualified.
Some of these unhealthy mental behaviors stem from low self-esteem that may be driving you to succeed. Others may simply arise from not knowing how to navigate your new reality. Either way, you need to resolve these feelings in order to continue to function well and be happy.
Type A personalities
The term “type A personality” is often used to describe a person who is self-driven and always busy. It’s fine to be type A, but it is not fine to have anxiety. The correlation of anxiety with functionality is a bell curve. Those who have no anxiety generally also have very little self-motivation and often very little functionality; they could be the couch potatoes in your life. Those who have too much anxiety are on the other end of the bell curve, unable to function.
The top of the curve is where the healthy type A personalities reside: just enough anxiety to stay on their toes while still being highly functional. They do not experience negative side effects from their anxiety. It does not affect their work, their personal lives, or their overall happiness. It’s considered “healthy anxiety.”
Therapy can help
Where would you place yourself on that bell curve? If you are experiencing any of the negative effects of anxiety, talk to a professional counselor who can help you evaluate the root causes of your anxiety and guide you to reframe your thinking. If you live in the NYC area, reach out to me to see how I can help.
Together, we’ll review what your main concerns are, what triggers you, and what steps need to be taken to create healthy thought patterns. My orientation is in psychodynamic and cognitive behavior therapies, which provide me with a wide range of tools to help you find solutions for your unique situation.
We do not function in a vacuum; we are the sum of our own life stories. These stories have their beautiful parts and their dark sides. By looking at both positive and negative, we can work together to craft a future that builds on your past, healing old wounds, and building up all that is good, so that you can move forward with greater joy and deeper connection to the important people in your life. Give me a call to see how I can help.