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Sometimes it takes one partner realizing there is a problem and convincing the other partner that help is needed. When there is resistance, it might be helpful to talk to your partner about how you are feeling.
Here are some things to consider when thinking about couples therapy.
- Do you feel like your partner isn’t seeing or hearing you? Is he or she too busy with the demands of life, leaving you feeling isolated?
- Are you having sex? Almost 12% of marriages are considered sexless or nearly sexless, according to one survey. There could be a physical issue in the way and caring for children and stressing about work doesn’t help. If you’re not interested in sex for a prolonged period of time or are no longer physically attracted to your partner, a deeper issue, like a lack of emotional intimacy or romance, might be a factor.
- Are you thinking about or talking to ex-lovers or spouses? Do you want to get back together or have an experience with someone other than your spouse?
- Do you enjoy time with others more than with your spouse? Are you looking forward to time with friends or family, but not with your partner?
- Have you become so apathetic about your relationship that even arguing about issues doesn’t seem to be worth the effort? Bickering represents more of a connection than apathy because apathy is a sign you’ve given up and there’s no longer something holding you together.
- Are you overcompensating? When asked by others how things are going, do you paint an overly rosy picture about your spouse and your relationship?
- Are you empowering one another or spending a lot of time nitpicking and criticizing, pointing out flaws or thinking your spouse can’t do anything right? Are you verbally lifting each other up or knocking each other down?
I help couples re-build their relationships and enable them to take down the emotional walls between them. We all need help from time to time and getting help with a relationship can be an investment in time and energy that could result in a lifetime of rewards. Learn more about what I can do for you and your relationship by contacting our office.