Starting Couples Counseling

In the beginning of a relationship, it’s hard to imagine that there would ever be a need for couples counseling. You are happy, in sync, in love. But, the realities of life slowly re-emerge, especially in the hustle and bustle of NYC. For a multitude of reasons, some couples get off track. In those cases, counseling can help restore effective communication and help you move the relationship forward in a positive way.

But, even with the promise of a better future, many couples approach counseling with fear and uncertainty. Let me try and dispel some of those fears. Here are a few fast facts about what couples counseling is not all about.

  • It is not about assigning blame.
  • It is not about pointing fingers and leveling accusations.
  • It is not about escalating arguments.

So, what can you expect from couples counseling then? Couples counseling is designed for both individuals to gain a deeper understanding of their role in the relationship and acquire new skills in communication and conflict resolution. In our sessions, I will listen to BOTH partners – not just one. Both perspectives are equally important and equal time, attention and understanding is imperative.

From a practical perspective, our first few sessions will likely focus on establishing goals and gathering information. These sessions may be together as a couple, or on an individual basis. I tailor my approach and our sessions to each unique situation.

Yet, while every couple is different, establishing good communication skills is essential for every relationship – both in and out of therapy. I can help you learn more effective ways to communicate. I will help you listen, truly hear, and respond to each other in ways that will build, rather than tear down, your relationship. When it comes to conflict, we can work on developing skills that will allow you to resolve differences without fighting.

If you believe that couples counseling would be beneficial for your relationship, it may still take some effort to convince your partner to commit to the process with you. In these cases, it is important that you approach the subject in a calm manner and truly listen to your partner’s concerns, without interrupting. If your partner has questions – I would be happy to discuss the process with them prior to getting started.

Couples counseling is an investment in your relationship and in yourself. The understanding, tools, and skills you acquire will improve relationships in many facets of your life including work, family and friendships. In the supportive, non-judgmental setting of our sessions, you can begin a process that will bring more connection, kindness, and calm into your life.

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