Tag Archives: marriage counseling

“The Four Horsemen of the Marriage Apocalypse” and Their Antidotes

Posted on April 29, 2022 by Alisa Hafkin

As a marriage counselor, I often see very similar patterns in troubled marriages. The great marriage researcher, Dr. John Gottman, grouped these patterns into four categories that he labeled “the four horsemen of the apocalypse” – that is, those behavior … Continue reading →

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Should You Participate in Pre-marital Counseling Before You Get Married?

Posted on September 3, 2021 by Alisa Hafkin

Marriage counseling before marriage may sound like putting the cart before the horse, as the saying goes. Such counseling is generally referred to as pre-marital counseling (for obvious reasons) and it is not a sign that your relationship is in … Continue reading →

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Addiction and Marriage: How to Know When Enough Is Enough

Posted on June 18, 2021 by Alisa Hafkin

When a spouse suffers from addiction, the whole family suffers. Addiction is a disease that looks more like a character flaw. In some cases, personality may play a part in the addiction, as well as stressors, past trauma, or a … Continue reading →

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When It May Be Time to Leave Your Marriage

Posted on October 21, 2020 by Alisa Hafkin

The decision to leave a marriage is always a difficult one and should never be taken lightly. As a marriage counselor, I have seen many marriages healed that seemed on the verge of ruin. Sadly, though, some marriages cannot be … Continue reading →

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Lessons from Marriage Counseling

Posted on May 20, 2020 by Alisa Hafkin

One of the most important lessons I try to help my clients understand is that maintaining a long-term intimate relationship takes a lot of work, and the work is ongoing. It’s not like you can work on your marriage once … Continue reading →

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How to Work Out the Big Conflicts in Marriage

Posted on May 16, 2020 by Alisa Hafkin

Every marriage has differences and conflicts because every marriage is made up of two people who have different backgrounds, perspectives, and personalities. It’s inevitable that you will disagree in some areas. Most couples can work through the small conflicts, but … Continue reading →

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Does a Marriage Counselor Ever Recommend Divorce?

Posted on January 31, 2020 by Alisa Hafkin

As a couples therapist, my goal is to help couples who experience difficulty in their relationships take personal responsibility for who they are and how each contributes to the relationship. This also means they must be personally responsible for the … Continue reading →

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Can you Take a Narcissist to Marriage Counseling or Couples Therapy?

Posted on October 16, 2019 by AHafkin

A person who demonstrates narcissistic personality traits can be difficult to help through marriage counseling or couples therapy, though it is not impossible. But entering marriage counseling is only the beginning of healing for those dealing with a narcissist. What … Continue reading →

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Can I Save My Marriage If My Spouse Isn’t Trying?

Posted on July 31, 2019 by AHafkin

It is common that only one spouse is willing to work to save a struggling marriage. Fortunately, in many cases, one partner can make changes that will turn the marriage around dramatically. Some marriages need to end, especially if there … Continue reading →

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