Stress has become a part of modern life. That’s not a good thing. The feeling of stress is your mind’s way of telling you something is not right. However, with all the demands of modern life, most people don’t stop to examine those feelings and develop ways to eliminate or at least cope with stress in a healthy way. When this happens, stress worsens, our emotional and physical health tends to decline, our work and relationships suffer, and we may find ourselves in a state of overwhelm. Something needs to be done to stop the snowballing of stress in order to feel balanced and at peace.
Stressed and overwhelmed defined
We often use the terms stressed and overwhelmed almost interchangeably, but they’re really two very different emotions. “Stress” means we’re feeling a great deal of pressure, external or internal, usually from multiple sources. When we’re stressed, we’re feeling uncomfortable, maybe worried, anxious, or concerned. Our emotions are running high, but we can still function. We may make small mistakes or snap at a loved one, but we recognize that it’s stress-related and try to make amends.
When we’re overwhelmed, stress has reached such a point that we can’t take action. Emotions are so intense that one’s ability to think or act rationally is impacted. Signs of overwhelm may include disproportionately overreacting to stimuli, such as panicking when you can’t find something. It may include feeling physically ill or exhausted, having trouble focusing, and being unable to complete simple tasks.
Watch your words
Dr. Brene Brown is a popular and highly acclaimed speaker and podcaster on the subjects of courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She points out that we should be very careful with our words. If we are feeling stressed – feeling pressure but still able to function and take action – we should not casually say “I’m so overwhelmed!” When we say that, we’re actually signaling the brain to shut down.
What you can do
If you truly are on the verge of overwhelm, the most important thing you should do is nothing. That’s right, do nothing. Walk away from stressors for a short time. Don’t walk away and pick up your phone and start looking at social media. You’re just replacing one stressor with another. Literally, do nothing with your mind for a little while. Studies show that this allows your brain to “reset” so that you can go back and function.
What counts as doing nothing? Taking a quiet walk outside; lying down in a quiet room with soothing instrumental music; sitting in a quiet place with your eyes closed sipping a favorite beverage; using meditation techniques or mindfulness techniques. These are some examples of what you can do to allow your brain to relax and reset.
This is much easier said than done, as your mind will probably be wired and may turn to the problems that have led to your current state. Make every effort to choose relaxing “do-nothings” that don’t remind you of these things. For instance, don’t choose music with words to focus on or that evokes memories or negative emotions. And please don’t choose an alcoholic beverage or stimulant. Your goal is to calm down. Your mind will slowly unwind so that you can go back and face the work more effectively and calmly.
Avoiding feeling overwhelmed
Ideally, you should get your stress under control long before you’re on the verge of being overwhelmed. It’s important to develop methods of thought that help you prevent stress from getting out of hand. Here are some suggestions:
- Don’t wait until you are overwhelmed to take time for yourself. If you make it a part of your daily routine to “do nothing” for at least 15 minutes every day, you’ll find you can more easily cope with life’s stressors.
- Take time out to evaluate the roots of your emotions and why certain situations or individuals cause you stress, worry, or anxiety. Then take appropriate actions to overcome them.
- When stressors can’t be avoided, develop coping mechanisms, such as deep breathing; humor; relaxation exercises; or talking to a trusted friend, not to vent, but to find solutions or encouragement.
There are many ways to deal with stress so you don’t reach the point of overwhelm, but sometimes people need help finding those solutions. There is a great deal of information online, but not all of it is accurate or helpful. Support groups, especially in-person groups, can help, but avoid groups that devolve into gripe sessions. People mistakenly think venting or griping is “cathartic” but in fact, studies show it makes you feel worse. Healthy sharing includes seeking an understanding of root causes and solutions to avoid future problems.
If you need help finding solutions that will help you live a less stressed life, reach out to me. As a psychotherapist, I help my clients explore their thoughts, history, and patterns in order to chart new paths and move forward.