Our culture has a long tradition of setting New Year’s Resolutions. This is a wonderful idea, but few people follow it—and fewer feel like they’ve actually succeeded in those resolutions. Why is that? The biggest reason is that they have not really reflected on what they want to change in the new year and how they can get there. They don’t have a plan. And without a plan, a goal is just a wish.
January is the perfect time to reset your resolutions, so you achieve success in 2026.
If you seriously want to make some changes in the new year, large or small, follow these basic steps. If you need some help and you live in the New York City area, reach out to me to see how we can get you set up for success this year. Usually, a couple of sessions is enough to set you on the right path.
And remember, your new year can begin whenever you want! There is no rule that says it has to start on January 1, and you don’t get another chance. Is it April when you read this? Plan for your new year to begin in May or June, once you’ve taken these steps for success.
Step One – Reflect
Take the time to reflect on the past year.
Did you make resolutions last year? Where did you succeed in those resolutions? Which ones were left undone or partially completed? Are they still important to you?
What were some of your successes for the year, and what were some mistakes or problems that arose? Are they still impacting your life? How could you build on the positive and overcome the negative in the coming year?
What habits of action or thought do you have that are helpful and which are harmful? What lessons have you learned in the last year that can be applied to next year?
Apply these questions to the various aspects of your life:
- interpersonal (friends, family, work relationships)
- financial
- career
- health and wellness (physical and emotional/mental)
- spiritual
Most people benefit from writing their thoughts down as they reflect on these questions and apply them to various areas of their lives.
Step Two – Focus
Having reflected on your past year, think about the future and create a big picture framework. You can create your focus using one of the following different perspectives, whichever seems best for you.
Live list vs. bucket list: We’ve all heard of the bucket list: a list of things you’d like to do before you die (or leave a town, or while on vacation, or whatever). But a “live list” focuses not so much on doing as on being. The focus is on living an intentional life, becoming the person you want to be, and making the impact you hope to make. Yes, you can plan things to do, but the goal of those actions is to live a fulfilling life. Famous playwright Oscar Wilde said, “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
Your “Why” or Theme: What is your Why? What do you want to do with your life? What can you do this coming year to bring yourself closer to that goal? What will be the new year’s theme?
The year in context: Think about any important events that you expect or hope for in the new year and base your plans with them in mind. You may have a wedding or new baby arriving in the next 12 months, maybe you’re hoping for a promotion, or you may be looking for a new home. If something big is on the horizon—you hope it is—create your resolutions and goals with this in mind.
Priorities: What’s important? Decide your priorities for the new year. Based on your reflection, you may decide to focus primarily on one or two aspects of your life, or you may decide to focus on changing automatic habits that are keeping you stuck or in an unhealthy place emotionally. Changing old habits can be particularly difficult to do alone. It’s sometimes hard to identify the roots of why you do what you do. As a psychotherapist in the NYC area, I’ve helped many people identify the habits, roots of habits, and blockages that make it challenging to change. If you’re in the NYC area and would like to work on these issues, reach out to me.
Step Three – List
Now comes the step that most people begin with. List the resolutions or changes you would like to implement in the coming year. Since you have taken the time to think clearly, you will be able to make intelligent, insightful plans for the future year that have a high degree of likelihood of success.
Bonus – Be at Peace
Remember that you may not hit all your goals for the new year, especially if your list is long. But that’s ok. If you make any progress at all on your resolutions, that’s a success. Claim that success! If at the end of the year you didn’t get too far on something and it’s still important to you, try again.
It’s great to talk to someone who is very dear to you (spouse or closest friend) about some of your goals to help you keep on track. If you would like the support of a professional to guide you through your goals for the next year, reach out to me or to a therapist or counselor in your area. Having a little help can make all the difference in the world.
Have a great new year!