Whether you were about to talk in public, take an exam, or say “I do,” you’ve probably experienced the racing heart, sweaty palms, and shaking that go with nervousness. We all have at some point. But how is that different from anxiety? And when do you need help to address it?
Nervousness
Nervousness and nervous energy are associated with a particular event and are temporary, lasting for moments, hours, days, or even weeks, but ending with the culmination of the event. You might be nervous for weeks approaching your wedding day or defending your dissertation for your PhD. But afterward, you take a deep sigh and can relax.
Nervousness can be very uncomfortable—in the moment, the symptoms might even be stronger than general anxiety. Some people with severe nervousness might even faint or feel nauseous. You can lessen severe nervousness with a few helpful techniques:
- Put things into perspective. Most things we become very nervous about are not that critical.
- Use your nervous energy to prepare or even over-prepare for the event. This preparation can help to lessen the nervousness, as you become more confident that all will go well.
- Visualize success. Picture yourself over and over doing everything just right. See yourself giving a great speech—you may even want to imagine tripping up on a few words and laughing about it with the audience. This humanizes the audience in your mind and decreases the fear of mistakes.
- Use positive self-talk, telling yourself over and over that everything will be fine, silencing the negative self-talk.
- Right before the event, take deep, controlled breaths and strike a “power pose”—shoulders back, head up, hands on hips. Remind yourself, “I got this!” then go do it.
Anxiety
Anxiety is not as easy to fix as nervousness. Anxiety is defined as an ongoing feeling of fear, dread, or indecision, not connected with a particular upcoming event. You may or may not know what is causing your anxiety, and in fact, there may be more reasons than you can identify. For this reason, general anxiety can be a challenge to overcome. But it can definitely be lessened with some help from an experienced counselor.
Signs of general anxiety:
- Constant feeling of stress
- Uncontrolled worry, ruminating
- Feelings of dread, but unable to define what you dread
- Chronic indecision, difficulty starting or finishing tasks, procrastination
- Doing little tasks but avoiding the big ones
- Inability to concentrate, racing thoughts
- Expectation that something will go wrong
- Moodiness or agitation
- Digestive problems, tension headaches
- Poor sleep, feeling “tired but wired”
- Panic attacks
These feelings can be absolutely exhausting, because unlike nervousness, they never go away.
Managing anxiety
If you have mild anxiety, some of the same techniques used in overcoming nervousness can be used to defeat anxiety. For mild to moderate anxiety, try these additional strategies:
- Improve your diet. There is an undeniable connection between how our brain works and the nourishment we give it. Some evidence suggests that gut health and mental health are closely connected, and an unhealthy gut is unable to absorb the nutrients your brain needs for optimum function. Eliminate processed foods and eat healthy foods as much as possible. Avoid alcohol, excess sugar, and carbohydrates.
- Exercise, especially outside. A brisk walk in the sunshine and nature is as effective as medication for mild to moderate depression and anxiety. Our bodies are designed to be outside. Our brains need sunshine, and our souls need nature. Listening to birds, feeling the breeze, and soaking in vitamin D from the sun is fundamentally healing.
- Improve your sleep patterns by turning off screens at least an hour before bedtime. Evaluate what kind of content you consume and consider that it may be one of the sources of your anxiety. Eliminate all content that does not build up your mental health.
- Keep a gratitude journal. Focusing on the positive can completely rewire how we think and can dramatically improve our mood.
- Smile. Smiling triggers the brain to release mood-boosting neurotransmitters and can actually lower your stress level, even if it feels insincere at first, and even if no one sees you smiling. Of course, if people see you smile, they smile back, which has many other positive benefits!
- Practice mindfulness. There are many different techniques, and I work with my patients to discover which mindfulness techniques work best for them.
In my practice, I’ve found that these strategies can profoundly benefit people struggling with anxiety. But some people need more help. As a psychotherapist oriented towards psychodynamic and cognitive behavioral therapy, I work with clients to find the underlying causes of the issues that have caused so much stress.
If you have been experiencing anxiety for an extended period of time or have severe anxiety, there may be deep-seated causes that are best addressed with a psychotherapist, who can help you discover those causes and resolve them. Find an experienced therapist near you, and if you are in the NYC area, contact me to see how I can help.