You’ve had a big life change for the better! So why do you feel so anxious or lost? These are natural responses to change, but they should not be overwhelming or interfere with your joy.
Whether you are pregnant, have a new baby in the house, started a new job, or earned a big promotion, your identity shifts. You’re now a parent to a new human being; or you’re navigating a new environment; or maybe you’re now the boss over your former workmates. How do you work this into your busy NYC life?
The loss of familiar routines and the need to build new schedules and procedures can leave you feeling lost and confused. Greater responsibilities can be frightening. Changes in relationships can cause loneliness or isolation. How do you manage these changes?
Why we sometimes feel overwhelmed
If you’re a new mother, the biological changes you’re going through only add to the confusion and fear with a new baby in the house. If you’re a father or the parent of an adopted child, you’re still going to experience physical changes from lack of sleep and new routines, which could impact your ability to cope with basic stressors of life that previously did not bother you or that you had under control. Relationships with friends may change, as you’re not as available as you used to be. Add to that the new demands of the new little life in your care, and it’s easy to see why sometimes people get panicky.
Perhaps the big change is at work: a new job or a promotion. Certainly, a whole new job means learning the company culture, getting to know people, learning your job responsibilities, and navigating company politics. A promotion may leave you isolated from old friends while having to navigate new relationships and new dynamics around authority. You may experience jealousy from previous peers who didn’t get a promotion or from other employees who see you as a threat to the status quo. This can be quite stressful.
Sometimes you may feel grief over the loss of your old life, maybe wanting to go back to the way things were, just because it was safe and stable. But we don’t grow as human beings by staying still. We grow by stretching ourselves, learning new things, and sharing our lives with others.
Getting help to manage change
For most people, emotions stabilize fairly soon after the transition, and new routines fall into place. But if you’re having difficulty reaching that place of peace, or if your confusion or feeling overwhelmed are making it difficult to function, please reach out to an experienced therapist who can help you navigate these feelings, evaluate and resolve them, and develop new mental structures and habits to find peace and joy in your life again.
If you’re in the New York City area, reach out to me to see how I can help. I work with clients to identify underlying causes of the issues that you need help with. Finding the roots will help you understand and manage the problems so that you can feel more prepared for future life changes.